This morning’s blog presents a challenge to me, yet again.
As yesterday’s blog was entitled “God is Satan. I am Truth.” I expected to get some negative feedback. Particularly since I put a picture of Jesus with a subtext that claimed he was Satan. And that expectation was met by one individual in-particular who left me multiple comments. The first was a full exorcism of the devil who dwelled inside me, followed by the Sinner’s Prayer that I was to repeat so I could be saved. I responded by saying I understood their point of view, but I disagreed. This unleashed the zealous anger of said commenter, and I was met with a borage of Bible verses and name calling.
Here’s where my blog dilemma comes in. Obviously, this evoked emotion in me. Part of me thought it was so ridiculous that it was funny. Another part of me felt a great need to defend myself. While yet another part of me sees it as a challenge to stick to my truth. Which one should I choose?
Here the book must remain.
I want to yank the book I wrote out of the recycling bin and send it to this person. I want them to see where I’ve come from, what fires I’ve walked through, and what theology I know. I want to shove it down their throat and say, “See! You ignorant ass hole. You know nothing.” But the translation of that is, “See! I’m a good girl. I’m justified by the real God. You are the one who is wrong.”
And that is where the red flag comes in. The whole reason I threw the book out, was because my life is no longer about “right” thinking. It no longer revolves around fitting my heart into a theology so that I may be counted as good and therefore earn love. It is about my truth in the moment. Theology has only ever bound me, while truth has set me free.
And for this very reason, I did not explain my thinking behind God being Satan. It is irrelevant. The point of my blog was how that thinking set me free in that moment. It was about my emotions, my experiences. It was about me. It’s purpose was not to convert anyone else to my thinking. I don’t care if you understand that concept or not. What I care about is my ability to stick to my truth, no matter what.
That is my challenge. Truth, no matter what anyone else thinks. In this I believe I will find freedom. In this, I believe I will be able to live with an exposed heart. In this, I believe I will find love.
So I say to you, dear commenter, this is my blog. It is about me. If you don’t like me, feel free not to read.
This is my truth.
-Tara
#1 by consepth on January 16, 2012 - 10:22 AM
THIS IS THE MOST STUPID THINGS I EVER HEARD,,,,YOU KNOW THAT DAY GOD WILL REMIND YOU OF THIS CONVERSASION……WHEN U DIE….THERE U ARE,,,,,I FRONT OF GOD HO YOU CALLED SATAN. HA,HA WHAT WILL DOOO YOU STUPID WOMAN NOW WHAT GOD WILL DO IS TO REMIND YOU OF WHAT YOU HAD SAID ABOUTH GOD AND CALLED GOD. YOU CALLED GOD FOR SATAN. OHHH I WOULD NOT BE IN YOUR SHOES WHEN YOUR TIME COMES AND YOU HAVE THE SAME LIES TO TELL . GOD WILL SAY TO YOU GO AWAY YOU WICKED HUMAN I DONT KNOW YOU…..AND YOU WILL CRY AND SAY I DID NOT NOW….I DID NOT KNOW…I WAS WRONG…..PLEAS GOD FORGIVE ME……..! DO YOU THINK GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU………….WELL I WILL TELL YOU WOMAN GOD IS I MERCYFUL KIND GOD HO LOVES US BECAUSE I CREATED US. AND YES GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOU HO DECIVES YOURSELF BUT YOUR FLESH…..ANF GOD KNOWES THAT, SO THERE YOU ARE……WHAT WILL U DO……GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND WORSHIP THEY GOD HO IS I HEAVEN. SATAN IS THE LIAR.
#2 by Dan on January 16, 2012 - 10:36 AM
Awesome blog. It’s very entertaining to have a Catholic fight because of their strong convictions.
I’m sure while you’re in pergutory dealing with calling Jesus Satan. I’ll be there for callin him an asshole on occasion. But I’m sure the genuine love and relationship we have with truth will prevail.
I’m glad you chose to not live a complete lie of a life, shooting for perfect actions while failing completely. Why lie about who you are to god?
Why put so much stock in other humans only to see your great spiritual leaders molest little boys.
It’s a big scam that religion, only there to make you feel forever condemned and completely trapped by others ideas of what right living should be. Even though they really don’t even try themselves.
I’d rather go to hell, than spend a good Saturday listening to a pedophile go on and on about his hipocritical theology.
You should do the same!
See you at the fish fry!
#3 by Tara on January 16, 2012 - 11:26 AM
Thanks babe. It’s nice to be stood up for.
#4 by JMishra on January 16, 2012 - 10:39 AM
Tara, this is honest, heartfelt and beautifully written. So many lose sight that “god’s word” if that’s what they choose to call truth, can be subtle. You need to drop self-imposed chains to be able to hear it. Sometimes those self-imposed chains can be how we fit ourselves into a religion, charging around shaking those chains in the face of everyone with loud proclamations of “being right.” It may not be done properly. These people with their “how dare you’s” to me show fear. Something in them is shaken by your honesty. I think what you wrote was wonderful. Your feelings are your own as is the path you walk. Kudos.
#5 by Tara on January 16, 2012 - 11:26 AM
Thank you JMishra. I appreciate your positive feedback to rival all the hate being thrown my way in this moment. Hope your day goes well.
#6 by consepth on January 16, 2012 - 10:55 AM
NR 1. YOU IDIOT. AM NOT AN CATOLIC. YOU STPID FUCK. CATOLICH BELIVES IN MARYYYY AND HAVE ALL KINDS OF OTHER GODS THEY PRAY TO YOU STUPID FUCK. SO THERE BELIVFS IS WRONG. BECAUSE GOD SAYS: THEY SHALL NOT HAVE OTHER GODS BEFORE MEEEEEEEEE. THERE IS JUST ONE GOD. ANF THAT IS ; AM IS HIS NAME. AND NR TO YOU STUPID FUCK. GOD HATES RELIGION…….CHRISTIANITY ISSSSSSSS NOOOOOOT RELIGION YOU STUPID FUCK. BUDHA ALLHA AND ALL THOSE KINDS OF SHIT GODS THEY PRAY TO……ARE RELIGION. AND NOT MY GOD. FOR THERE IS JUST ONE TRUE GOD. AND HE IS SEATED IN HEAVEN. AND HIS SON DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SSSSSSIIIIIIINDS YOU STUPID FUCK
#7 by Dan on January 16, 2012 - 11:50 AM
Are you nervous at all about the foul language and hatred spewing from you? Will god forgive this? Don’t worry I’m sure he will.
I assumed Catholic, I was wrong as typical it is a Christian. One with the worst grammar I have ever seen. I understand coming over here and completing our standard grade school is difficult. And that the English language is complex, I myself struggle all the time. But take your time, ten deep breathes, wait for spell check to catch up, and see if you can’t down on a few of the more obvious ones there.
As far as god, I feel with you being a Christian this wouldn’t upset you as much. Sometimes you have to let the other person make their decision. Jesus didn’t chase people down and try to convince them. “He said those that have ears let them hear.”
Okay, we have acknowledge what you have to say and have decided that your religion or simply your view point of God is wrong. I’m so confident as is 1alive here that we will accept our fate. Even if it means hell.
Let us go, and find someone else that has ears. And the patience to sift through your ridiculous writing.
#8 by consepth on January 16, 2012 - 11:47 AM
satan is a liar and he is the father of lies and he is i fallen angel from grace, of god. no little satan lost his figth with god because god sendt his begotten son jesus christ to defeat satan ha,ha ha. and satans fall was big……..BIG BIIIIIIIG FALL UNTO HELL. AND JESUS WENT DOWN TO HELL AND GRABED THE KEYS TO THE DOORS OF HELL FROM SATAN. SO NOW IT IS JESUS HO HAS THE POWER TO CAST YOUUUU SINNERSINTO THE PIT OF HELLFIRE IN HELL. AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU SINNERS. WE HO BELIVES IN JESUS CHRIST HAVE THE SAME POWER AS JESUS HAVE BECAUS JESUS GAVE US AUTORITY TO HAVE THIS POWER WHEN WE CHOOSE TO INVITE JESUS IN TO OUR LIFES AND HEART AND BELIVE IN HIM. OUR PWERS ARE GRATER THANS ALL SATANIC POWERS. AND ALL SATANIV POWER IS UNDERCOVER TO GODS POWER AND OUR POWER HO WE GOT FROM HIS SON JESUS CHRIST. SO I SAY: IN THE NAME OM JESUS CHRIST I CAST YOU FAUL DEMON SATAN BAL MORNING STAR TO HELL. AMEN.